Human history is littered with tragic examples of how people misinterpret information because of agendas driven by emotions and their frozen forms, ideologies. I lost both my nans to cancer years ago, one of my grandads died when my mum was 11 so I never met him, and my other grandad i hardly know because he never used to want to talk to me. Only 3 years ago, my husband of 35 years walked out of our marriage without a clue nor anything said to me that he wasn't happy. I have angels who watch over me and protect me and do not belive that god would do this to me and my family . Say goodbye to 2020 with our end of year quiz. I voluntarily took a Pysc evaluation after the divorce from my 3rd husband. However, this complexity does not eliminate your core need, and responsibility, to protect yourself from other people’s unethical agendas. I've even led myself to believe at work that it WILL happen and I wait for someone to come and tell me the bad … and he refuses to help, so the Dept of Ed has been taking $200 out of my $1,700 monthly check and keeps all of my income tax. Last week my Aunt's and Uncle's house burnt down. Why is this world so unfair? When that's all this article is? We are a part of nature, and that makes us a part of every chain reaction. I had a friend who went through horrible trials and tribulations until he finally realized that he was creating these problems for himself, even when it seemed it was outside forces doing it to him. I made $1,000 a month. I wish I could say the same. We were divorced after he became abusive and stole my paychecks to buy drugs. I was requested to answer this, and I think right now is the perfect time. I'll discuss this process in greater depth next week. Even after the cataract surgery that is going to happen soon, my eye surgeon told me my vision won't improve much at all. My 1st husband was a physically abusive alcoholic. Reminds me of 2007 when we got flooded twice, my dad died, my mum went mental, my grandad and two uncles got cancer, my friend comited suicide, another uncle died, I had my GCSEs and I was living in a tiny chatlet miles away from anywhere. I ruined Christmas and my family (hopefully temporary), I’m starting to realise what sort of person my dad is, Tried to tell my family I think I have adhd/camhs questions, I have kept a secret and it's making me sick. My children and I were taken to court last week by my ex husband (yes the father of my son) and was court-ordered evicted, now, I have no income and we have no where to live He believes we open the door to them and let bad things in. I know what you mean. But we can trust that Heavenly Father understands. I keep wondering why so many bad things happen to me, especially because I strongly believe in "loving others as thyself." I have been a nice person and done a lot of good things in my life and yet I get bad things happening to me and my family. Sometimes bad things happen in good families: a parent gets laid off; a teenager gets arrested; a marriage dissolves; an adult child rebels; an affair happens; the family name appears in a negative headline; Bad things don’t just happen in bad families. I did not get along with my adoptive parents either and had to run away from them to join the Navy in 1979. Why do bad things keep happening to me and my family? I finally convinced him we'd be better off if I worked and he could afford his expensive trucks like he wanted, but I really wanted a job to get away. Yes, there are corrupt immoral people out there, but there are also honest and ethical people. A few years ago I married a man who turned out to be emotionally and financially abusive. Autobiographical novel and CD, both giving examples of and solutions to HOW I STOPPED bad things from happening to my family! Now, I have a friend's niece who lives with me to help her. When it starts to harm your own well being, it's time to let others take responsibility for themselves and their own choices/lack of them. Now my vision is worse with not only 20/400 sight but now have developed a cataract in my left eye. If you’re in a “why do bad things happen to me” place in your life, chances are the “bad” side flowed easily. I'm silently dying inside, though. They deny their inebriation and replace it with a fantasy version of reality: "I can drive safely." Why do bad things happen to good people? Answer: Are you sure you want an explanation? If you really want to reverse the process of allowing bad things to occur in your life, I suggest you start by sitting down and writing a rigorously honest narrative about both your marriage and about the time your brother came to live with you. I was a cake decorator but physically can't can't do that anymore, I have RSD and now arthritis in my knees so bad I am paralyzed with pain when I stand or walk for more than 15 minutes. However, once you forced your brain to see the good, they started to flow too. Now you have to learn how to tell the difference while avoiding making another mistake by lumping everyone together. The parent who ran over their infant child. I don't know if terrible things were suppose to happen in my life but I know it happened because of mental illness. She had just gotten into an accident where she pulled out in front of this car. I'm at the point where I don't trust anyone, not even my family. Like the title of this comment and the movie "Drag me to Hell" I cannot understand why my life is continually in ruins and horrible things keep happening to me. Sometimes, other people just need to learn their own lessons in Life and if you try to take it all over, not only do you harm yourself, but you harm them too by preventing them from learning their own lessons. There's good in helping other people from time to time but, only to a certain point. We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out. Am I cursed or something? Of course, relationships are more complex than a single incident, because our emotional needs are multi-layered and influenced by complicated histories. What leg length is considered "long" for someone who is 5'7? It sometimes feels like you're never free of worry and I almost lost my faith until i realised the one thing that got me through all those things was praying even if it was just to reassure myself so i came to the conclusion i wouldn't be able to cope without it. Thank you, Lezlea. I lost a client who was 97, I was expecting her to die, but now I don't have the $900 a month I was making taking care of her. and I also took in my oldest granddaughter because she was having problems with her step mother (my oldest son lives in Japan and is married to his 2nd wife, a Chinese girl) 4 Warning Signs of a High Conflict Partner, The Understudied Trait That Makes for Happier Relationships, 3 Reasons a Sexless Marriage Shouldn't Lead to Divorce, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Want to Make Someone Feel Better? Just in the last 17 days: But our son think this is his legacy. If you that is difficult for you, perhaps find a group or some friends who can be. He beat me and our son continuously for 4 years. Once you rigorously analyze the patterns, you can then begin to change them. And that’s okay as long as you pick yourself up to discover the lesson you need to learn. In fact, the act of worrying can be a way of avoiding distressing emotions. I think that it is fair to say that regardless of whom you are as a person and what you offer to the world, if a bad thing does happen to you in the end it only makes you stronger, yes we shouldn't want bad things happening to us but we also shouldn't have this attitude in which we question why. A few months ago my first cousin's younger brother died. Bad things do not just happen. What score did you get on Arctic Shores Skyrise City. . Once I started taking Prozac in 2010, I was feeling much better and I felt like I had a new start at life. My children are incredible human being s and I don't drag them down with my problems but I am losing hope i'm stuck living with a bf who lies and who steals my money, so that i cannot move out, even now that i have found a place to move into my future roommate and best friend, ditches me and says she cant do it. So, here’s the third reason why bad things keep happening to you: you aren’t learning your lesson. I suffered with depression before she died and I was very close to her. My youngest wants to be a search and rescue dog trainer and worker. We may not always know why things happen the way they do. If you need to talk pm me. I lost another job because the family moved away, that was $1,000 a month, I was caring for a 4mth old If you’re in a “my life is awesome” place in your life, the flip is likely true for you. posted on May, 24 2009 @ 09:53 AM link . Do their clothes run big or small? When I was little, my parents used to be abusive and unpredictable with each other, me and my siblings. what the **** is wrong with my belly button piercing?! I have been feeling very down and depressed lately. Then he began stealing from me. The question as it is posed; I know I’m not the best person in the world, but why do bad things keep happening in my life?It seem like I just get over one crisis and another one occurs. Please don't tell me "We can't understand G‑d 's ways." I sometimes wish I could be more religious, I don't pray or go to church, but just believe that someone's out there. It backfired on him, though. Your worry may be a way you distract yourself from anxiety over things … This book which uses a belief in God as a backdrop to understanding why bad things happen to good people - can be related to many other philosophies of life - such as mine which is Buddhism. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. why are all these bad things happening to me? There might not be a god, but I used to, at least, believe that there were spirits looking out for me. Yup agreed. Then he told me while cleaning out our fathers' apartment, he found my adoption documents hidden in a metal box. I think not. I also know people are not good in general. In other words, we are all connected, for good or bad. For instance, suppose a friend is not only constantly late, but regularly fails to follow through on commitments. It worked. And the title for this "column" is "Beyond Blame"? © Copyright The Student Room 2017 all rights reserved. It was 430 pages, 200 pages lesser than my latest version! Can I change my earrings after I get them pierced? He put up a huge fight and tried every trick in the book to get me back, but I stayed away. Home→Forums→Tough Times→Why have so many bad things happened to my family? She forced me to marry at 17 so I would get out of her house because I was "too stupid to go to college and so ugly no one else would ever want me". So why do bad things sometimes happen to people who are doing their best to live as God has asked us to live, and why do good things sometimes happen to people who aren’t choosing to do good? Sexual Arousal Is Not a Reliable Sign of Sexual Desire, Money Can Buy at Least One Type of Happiness, Consider Skipping New Year's Resolutions in 2021. I had no money and no where to go, it was 1979. I have been to counseling but that doesn't help me financially. No one really wants to grow old all alone by yourself, especially when so many others have a love life which they will never have to worry about being all alone since their life is very complete. I told him "he was what you were made from but not made of? There used to be these big fights, which usually ended with insults, death threats, tears and bruises. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Pretty Little Thing Sizing and fit? Instead of thinking about certain behaviors and letting yourself see that they were unethical or deceptive, you disarmed your natural instinct to protect yourself to serve your immediate needs. My car was a good car I had paid cash for, now I have a freakin' car payment too. You can personalise what you see on TSR. LMAO. I have managed to keep my kids away from drugs and alcohol, as I have never used this myself. III, effective communication in health and social care, Applying to uni? Starting in 2010, I suffered major depression along with losing my grandma unexpectedly. My second husband convinced me to get a student loan for him so he could attend college and become a music professor, he had the intelligence but no drive which I found out all to late. However, after one day, we would just go and have lunch like if nothing happened. When bad things happen, it’s easy to become negative and fall apart. For as long as I can remember (but becoming more serious and more prevalent What I want to know is why bad things keep happening to me? I try to do the right thing but everything is destructing around me. I actually enjoy thinking about it, like a fantasty/daydream, and wish it would happen. I have just gotten over the slump I was dealing with, and when I mean just got over it. I did find solace in the book called "Runaway Husbands" which helped me understand that he left because of his issues and many men have difficulty with their emotions. Yes, there are patterns. I use Chronolog Evrika app to record every bad event and I have discovered that bad things happen rare. I just do not understand it. Back in 2004 while riding my bicycle with my dog on her leash, a neighbor didn't have his dog tied up or in it's yard. But if you secure your car, leave additional time on your journeys, and wash your hands thoroughly whenever is sensible, you learn from your mistakes and reduce the odds of bad things happening. This may make a world of difference. If your emotional need is for friendship at any cost, you will find ways to intellectually justify your friend's behavior and not see it for what it really is: Chronic irresponsibility and disrespect for others’ needs. I keep wondering why so many bad things happen to me, especially because I strongly believe in "loving others as thyself." Do Narcissists Prefer to Date Other Narcissists? firstly there is nothing out there, no god no religion no nothing its only you now and your life and only you can make a difference and the people around you, so stop waiting for this non exsistent god and do something. Giving examples of and solutions to how I STOPPED bad things in my left.... N'T think you 're really helping the situation here any “adult” content my! 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