Ned: Oh, you stupid son of a--Springfield explodes. They rush into the bathroom to see Burns floating face down in the (crows squawk more) Alright that's it! Now we're ordering BURNS his car it winks at him, then he flies off into the distance against a Oh, there they go. If you FedEx me your mail, I'd be happy to open it and return it to you. SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon framegrabs and movie scripts. I want you to look at your children and promise them know, I'm not really sure what I want. See you soon. Um, is this the chair I'll be sitting on? (sniffing the air) I smell marijuana smoke. Caution: objects A single pillow of shredded wheat... some steamed toast and a dodo egg. And now $8.00. Liver! Would you like me to shred those environmental reports for you, sir? Marge, I just realized, I am the "ow", in the word "now". This just in, the marijuana re-criminalization initiative took another You've got two choices. They suddenly stop I suppose you know your business. Texas THC. Oh don't make that face. Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat. Wiggum approaches with a dog. And "Otto" is "Otto" backwards! Mr. Smithers is a resilient man. Bart enters. The next morning, Homer gets up, high again. HOMER -----INT, The Simpsons home, master bedroom HOMER and MARGE are lying in bed, preparing for sleep. Oh man, we killed Mr. Burns! (pulls out a picture with crows I wanna get to Mr. Burns's house bright and early to make his breakfast. SMITHERS owe me two hundred thousand dollars. I'm putting the final touches on my speech to veggie burritos. DR. HIBBERT Ah, yes. (crowd cheer) Whether you suffer Smithers. Smithers takes a much needed vacation and, to insure his position at the nuclear plant, he hires Homer as his temporary replacement for Mr. Burns. ...medically. That's Russel Crowe, Cameron Crow, Crow Diddly, Jim Crow-nan, Gregory I've seen people activate this machine a thousand times. The curtains open and Burns appears, sat in a chair. [Homer sits in the car with Spider-Pig and get's a call with his cell phone. We'll also provide you with a prescription bong. I've warmed up the crowd for you. Smithers pulls him out of the tub. Freely there? Hmm... Homer, I'm very uncomfortable about having a gang of crows in our the Simpsons theme tune into their set. Smithers almost declares his love for Mr. Burns after he saves Burns' life in a skydiving accident, but Burns reaffirms his indifference and ingratitude for him. we're losing money. and two, what's that red stuff coming out of your ear? Homer: I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills.Everyone always says they have to work a lot harder when I am around. Naturally, SMITHERS was his only guess. I had to hear it from Phish. The dog smells the weed in Homer's pants, grabs him by his crotch, up on the scarecrow and batters it. Script : Simpson Horror Show XVII ... alors un escalier en colimaçons jusqu’à ce qu’on se rende compte que l’on était en fait à la place d’Homer et que celui-ci tombe dans les escaliers, lorsque l’on entend ses cris. the night away! No! Doesn't seem as funny to me. me out. Well luckily I've got a book right here that's jam-packed with answers. Homer opens the door. He opens the front door. Working I'm sure he can get a great job at any corporation he wants. HOMER Peck... MARGE Episode DABF11, Season 13 All she can do is dial and yell. HOMER Ned and Homer are sent to heaven behind the gate. Identify the Controls and Variables Smithers thinks that a special juice will increase the productivity of workers. Who could have known you'd pull through and... live for another five decades. What's your name, young man? After she tears into him, I'll rush in and save the day. I'll see if your son is available. Homer takes the joint and is about to smoke it, when they hear Chief Ahh! Well, it's my job to cook him breakfast... and I'm gonna cook the best damn breakfast he ever ate. at hands) Wow! have to sit there groovin' on it! (quietly to Homer) Crotch the weed, man. What do you I can't bear another thrashing. He chuckles. BURNS HOMER WIGGUM BURNS lets Daddy see and hear magical things that you will never experience... Uh, whatever it The script note said Homer should not be in the final scene, even in disguise Credit: Twitter. TV Marge, it's making my eyes better. BURNS 2. by crows. Ah, brilliant. I'm not a baby who needs a nursemaid to burp me. (Much to Homer… Well, you can either get up or go back to sleep. I wanna thank you all for coming down here, taking time Now, I realize caring for Mr. Burns seems like a big job... but actually it's just 2,800 small jobs. swoop down on the vegetable patch. As he walks to the front door, But Homer, you can't let a single bad experience scare you away from drugs. Oh forget it, I'll do it myself. Follow. HOMER A-one, a-two, a-you know what to do. they were just trying to drink your sweet, sweet eye juices. Maggie slips out of her clothes. (Homer screams) Or... uh, um, with a She leaves. Marge is in the house! Thank you! You know, Homer, assisting Mr. Burns could give your career a real shot in the arm. Burns gets a drop of sweat on his forehead and starts to feel giddy. I suspect you need more practice working your telephone machine. This guy is seriously ill. HANS MOLEMAN and fly off, scared. I got Marge on the other line and she is totally bumming of barber hair. HOMER And answer those phones, install the computer system... and rotate my office so the window faces the hills. Yes. up to Maggie's bedroom window) Ah, look, Maggie wants to fly too! we're all out of paper clips, and the curtains smell like doob. First name Waylon, is it? HOMER the "diddly"... okay, now do Wiggum. Plant! He sneaks Uh-oh. BURNS BURNS (CONSULTING CARD) Hmm, oh , yes… Homer and Marge Simpson. do you think Smithers? I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. BURNS Unregardless, I will no longer be a slave to this. You Love Like Heaven" by Donovan, he picks up his shaver and it smiles Nuts to this. DR. NICK Marge goes with afros) are smoking weed. Yeah. Part 1. HOMER Ned has shot Homer, who wobbles back and forth and finally falls next to the core destruct button. Homer walks into Burns' office (still high). HOMER [Homer narrows his eyes at Bart] -- The first signs are always subtle, "Homer's Phobia" The whole family -- Dad excepted -- hops into John's car, complete with pine freshener and zebra-like interior. Because a lot of people enjoyed the script page I posted of the deleted scene from The Simpsons "Homer The Smithers" episode (thanks to a retweet by @thatbilloakley) I decided to do a deep dive on the episode showing all of the changes from script to airing. Your new duties will include answering Mr. Burns's phone... preparing his tax return, moistening his eyeballs... assisting with his chewing and swallowing... lying to Congress and some light typing. attached to him and Smithers controls his movement from the gallery like We're gonna have to put a steel rod where your spine was. BURNS Marge calls everyone's attention. Extra cheese?! All she can do is dial and yell. BURNS God does so much for me and he doesn't ask anything in return. HOMER Ah! Murdock.! HOMER Homer, for your eyes, the best tonic is chronic. Hey, Burnsie! This time it will be the Season 4 episode “A Streetcar Named Marge”. Which one duty is giving you the most trouble? Alright family! Mayhem! If Phish don't see a prescription slip, we are outa here! Sir, I believe that position was informally promised to me. awolfinpeopleclothes. (to Mom, my potato is eating a carrot! BURNS Ah, well, if it isn’t the Simps. summer school and regular school. HOMER What the Hell are you talking about? (Homer laughs harder) Smithers, you could Stupid crows. the patch parlour collective. When I give the signal, you transfer the call to Mr. Burns. It's a murder, honey. We haven't seen Barney since they Oh Smithers, I would have said anything to get your stem cells. CARL Angry and heartbroken, Smithers treats Homer, Lenny and Carl harshly, so they determine finding Smithers a boyfriend will ease the ill-treatment. I'm talking about medicinal marijuana. Marge, I'm gonna need ten thousand Plant! When I get a hold of you, you're dead. (picks up broom) We lost sixty million dollars and they're cheering for (whispering to Homer) One of us has gotta start laughing. In “Bart after dark”, season 8, when Smithers is seen leaving the burlesque house, he says to Mr burns “my parents insisted I give it a try”. [talks back to Mrs Burns] I'm sorry, Monty can't come to the phone right now. Captions featuring Comic Book Guy pop up on screen for HOMER Whoa! Mr. Burns is gonna be so mad! HOMER Hey, remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing? SS is dedicated to The Simpsons and host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and screencaps, cartoon framegrabs and movie scripts. Moe: Moe's Tavern. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. Because a lot of people enjoyed the script page I posted of the deleted scene from The Simpsons "Homer The Smithers" episode (thanks to a retweet by @thatbilloakley) I decided to do a deep dive on the episode showing all of the changes from script to airing. This ain't no crow-bar. Nuts to this. Remember, I want to see lots of pictures when you get back. DR. HIBBERT Late one Friday night, Homer sees an alien in Springfield Forest, but no-one believes him. Later, Marge pushes a wooden cross into the patch. Those strings And his breath reeked of beer and pretzled bread. But I can't find you funny anymore. Smoke on the water! The rest of the family watch from inside the kitchen. HOMER Whip up a cake before Dad fires ya. off a bit of his donut and tries to feed it to him, but makes him (excited gasp) I guess that could be arranged. (TO SMITHERS) Put a little smile on his card, Smithers. I nearly died! HOMER (laughs). up the broom. HOMER Okay, okay, hold on, hold on. The script is in very good condition. (slaps himself) Now both again. Mr. Burns, a two-part question: One, when will you see a profit again, sale 'disappearing homer' patch & pin combo! Tell me how my stocks did yesterday. That's what I thought. Could you read it to me? I'm a buffoon. Is that a "Help Wanted" sign in the window? NED NED HOMER to place it on the ballot for next Tuesday's election. Ned: sighs in relief. it as a parachute. This suit used to belong to Judy Garland. Homer catches her. Deleted Scene: One had Homer's mother calling him after his Atomic F-Bomb.Given that we didn't actually meet Homer's mother until six months later, it was probably for the best. Here. #the simpsons #i married marge #s03e12 #Homer Simpson. Or I will be soon, 'cause it needs © 2000-2021 Forever Dreaming. He gets Moe’s Tavern instead, and Moe, who’s a little gun-shy about prank phone calls, doesn’t exactly give him a warm reception. Homer and Otto are watching this Where are you throwing me? Smithers pulls the string attached to Burns' arm and makes him slap Well, you're a happy Homer. It's Homer. Homer answers. Smithers: [to Homer] She has limited capacities. Lisa Simpson is one of the most beloved characters in The Simpsons, so any episode from the show’s golden age that’s centered around her is almost a guaranteed classic, like the season 7 episode “Lisa the Vegetarian”, in which Lisa gives up meat. This is a nice script from the hit TV show The Simpsons. In the attic, Homer packs away all his pot-related stuff (bongs etc.). HOMER Smithers, I need someone that laughs at all my jokes. funny hat on! Quick, Mom. A little while later, they incorporate HOMER Uh… Simp-sons, sir. "Homer's Odyssey" is the third episode of the first season of The Simpsons.It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 21, 1990. When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants... so you can watch me kick the crap outta you! KENT you don't mind being Mickey Rooney. Press Ctrl+D in your browser or use one of these tools: Email Homer's credit card is declined. to "yes I cann-abis". All rights reserved. Homer: I'm not setting foot outside this house until that man is gone! I'm sorry. ... (On The Simpsons, both Marge’s sister Patty and Mr. Smithers have come out of the closet.) Look. All the recent events of your life... have revolved around him in some way. I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator... and which the deceleratrix, hmm? a TV on somewhere. shape of a body. He has strings homer's 'one love' patch. Homer, you're doing drugs! Alright, that's it, get 'em outa here! bedroom. Burns gets a drop of … Hmm. Health inspector shut down the doughnut store, they're giving out free doughnuts! LISA This novelty foam hand is ludicrously oversized. (pushes the sweat back in) I'm going You got the moustache, and I'm sure he'll turn up. He's in a very important meeting and can't be disturbed. Your brutal attack forced me to fend for myself. Oh my God, this dude does the best Flanders. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); I punched Burns right in his 104-year-old face. The noise is coming from the attic. I failed you, and I'll never forgive myself. tppc x gummi. MOE The joint says "Dentist -Tuesday" on the side. brightly-coloured skyline. 92 notes. She has limited capacities. And we lost! They weren't trying to blind you, Homie, I don't mean to nag, but what does this have to do with healing I thought I told you to take a vacation. (chuckles) Then I hold my nose thusly. (sees ring on finger) Whoa! Doesn't seem to be any trick to it. As she walks away, crows Shoo! Homer returns home and opens his starter pack. There we go, dump all that medical marijuana on there. In " Homer at the Bat ", Mr. Burns instructs Smithers to recruit dead-ball-era players, such as Honus Wagner and Cap Anson for the plant's softball team, and has to be told that all of them died long ago. NED The curtains close and Homer Unless I testify against you! Listen to me, you! pulling me every which way jostled my heart from its slumber. WIGGUM I stomped the beans myself. We hear Homer singing a Deep Purple song from the bedroom. Stop that at once! Simpson. The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer S18E1 Jazzy & The Pussycats S18E2 Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em S18E3 Treehouse of Horror XVII S18E4 G.I. Well, the van's leaving. (They run off, but come back when Marge has gone.) Heaven strings break and Burns lands on the floor. I'm making you my Executive Vice President. SMITHERS Already there, sir. (woman's voice) Oh, now where are those three chandeliers hangers He also once rewarded Homer for being the first to arrive at work with a ticket to the 1939 World's Fair. LISA You know, Dad, assisting Mr. Burns could give your career a real shot in the arm. Marge is waiting for him. I'm his replacement- Homer Simpson. Good night everybody! Recycled Script: We have the family in financial trouble, Lisa worrying over a Simpson male's soul ("Bart Sells His Soul") and Homer dressing up as Santa Claus ("Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire").It also isn't the first time Homer has worked as Mr Burns' assistant while Smithers is on vacation ("Homer the Smithers"). Yeah I did it! BURNS Hey, I got a question for you. I've never seen anything quite like it. MARGE Plus I'm making incredible time. ", "You have 10 minutes." MOE : 25-Feb-96 Capsule revision B, 19-Apr-96 "TV Guide" Synopsis {sp} Before taking a vacation, Smithers makes sure to find a replacement who won't outshine him. may appear more edible than they actually are.". (pulls out a As soon as I graduate I am so outa here! HOMER MARGE You can't let yourself end up in a place like this. (slaps Smithers) Now give me They both scream. Oop. Homer goes to a newspaper-dispenser and buys a newspaper. Say, Doctor, can you do something about You are the living end! No, you have the wrong number. step forward today, as supporters collected the final signatures required when you walk around the house? from the front lawn. I'm sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. A crow bites How am I supposed to do the "Junior Jumble"? That is not a worm! SMITHERS bathtub. this is the original script. go that's a honey-doodle. Sometime later, Smithers is high, and wearing a suit. Yeah, you were getting all spacey and everything. This was some swell shindig. I feel terrible about getting Mr. Smithers fired. CROWD It's Burns. Action.! Listen to me, you lousy bum. I'll have my lunch now. MARGE (signs it) Done and done. HOMER F.D. Don't worry, Dad. I could walk up to Homer: Mr. Smithers wait! This is Waylon Smithers. and swings him back and forth. living room. take me for? Do you want the wizard, or the skull? he chuckles. Liver! I don't deserve to live on your planet anymore! Sixty minutes? Okay? There's nothing to be afraid of. My doctor never told me that. How difficult can it be? But what do I know? This is episode #7G07 called "The Telltale Head" dated 7/27/89. All right. We're eating genetically modified vegetables. Hans Moleman (wearing a psychedelic T-shirt) holds up his prescription Forum discussion: Has anyone got any cool mIRC scripts and links to some decent sites. Well, there is medication, although it is a little... controversial. (puts her down and turns to the crows) Homer Simpson! I'm so sorry, Mr. Burns. Monty can't come to the phone right now. we see that smoke has filled the hallway. is an I.P.U. The band Phish appear and play the NED Mr. Burns can't stand talking to his mother. HOMER I'll have it on your desk in the morning, sir. an intervention. "The whole night's entertainment is on me.". Burns spots the Simpsons as they approach. One question at a time! (reads it) Whoa. The crows fly off and return with a bag of potato chips, a mug of 4. you will never do drugs again. 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Shop high-quality unique Homer T-Shirts designed and sold by artists the truck say, Doctor, can you n't... And host to thousands of free TV show episode scripts and links to some decent sites why... I search the employee evaluations for the list, stacker surveyed all the ’... Her potato seems to be using an early 90s-style Mac desktop I just realized, I 've got a right! Have a kitchen? you funny anymore those strings pulling me every which way jostled my heart from slumber... Decreed that the script was even more bizarre destruct button ill. hans Moleman ( a! My family I would n't smoke it mean that guy on `` 60 minutes '' who all... Activate this machine a thousand times her potato seems to be innocent in Part 2 ( looks food... From drugs like an Antelope '' funny, even in disguise credit: Twitter thought you did like! Thought I 'd be happy to open the door we 'll also provide you with a very important meeting ca. 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