I then went to the other girls’ rooms, told them what happened, and we decided to leave and look after her. I’d have to write pages of “I won’t touch ***** again” until my hand was numb. All kids have issues. This happened a couple of times. She would lock me in the basement and I wasn’t allowed out of my room during the night, so if I had to go to the bathroom, she made me go in a bucket. Jais and I practically lived in our swimsuits and would spend our summers in the Florida Keys fishing and collecting hermit crabs. There was a resident fruit bat in the main room of the barn. Something about the cadence of his words, the staccato of his speech. It’s rough man. My long hair at the time probably had something to do with it. For an entire year, I wasn’t allowed to sit on the couch. From there we went to the second foster care. What makes things hard on them and us is a lot of times We arnt told the truth about every thing they had went through. Their tales give us a true glimpse into the horrors of the foster care system. However I volunteer as a counselor with this age range (and older, up to 17) and these kids are just kids. I got beat up regularly, kids would ruin my school supplies, teachers would turn a blind eye, other parents wouldn’t even look at me, etc. I went to live with my Momma (her name) when I was 10 months old. Privacy Notice and Momma was all I knew. Loving foster parents, plenty of attention, and genuine care for my wellbeing. The mother and daughter had very high-school-mean-girl personalities. They are hurt people, often traumatized, and have additional struggles because of those things. We were treated inferior in every way. 3.7k comments. there are some kids who are in foster care. Later that week, Cupcake Girl told me I was nasty and stank so bad no one could stand me. save. I wasn’t allowed to shower. We only found out her name was Kyrie after we had a sub in science who she didn’t tell in time. 5) I got lice at school and instead of the family spending money on lice remover, they used Lysol drain cleaner on my head. Trigger warning: This story deals with a personal account of a foster care experience that may be triggering for some readers. So, I decided to put up with the neglect. I had to go to other peoples’ houses and the schools to wash. I ask some friends and they tell me all the horror stories about the awful things her family did to her. You really do need to prepare yourself for the worse. Over and over again. Shoplifting loaves of bread and packs of bologna from the store eventually struck a chord in somebody’s conscience. My Home Ec teacher did a fundraiser and sold cupcakes during class, and a girl at my table bought three. It was full of insects, spiders, and even a snake. It was awful. It will work for some, not for others. Scared Parents Revealed The Creepiest Things Their Kids Ever Said, ‘They’re Not Who You Think They Are.’ People Share Their Crazy Double-Life Stories. I opened my door and saw big bloody handprints on the wall across from my room and a trail leading to Eves room. I was threatened often and not fed properly. Wouldn't you think you knew better how to survive your situation than these adults? Child Protective Services in New York City strongly supported her gaining legal custody of me. Some have anger/defiance issues but wouldn't you if you were abused/neglected and then moved about? Some families would have been over joyed to have him as their foster or forever child. She thought that a loving home would be enough to heal any wounds that the children had. Don’t forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories! The staff rang her an ambulance and I went upstairs cleaned up as best I could and went to bed. Our judge was so ruthlessly efficient that he intimidated the lawyers and social workers assigned to our case to move as quickly as possible. I almost failed my classes in high school because 10 teen girls in a three-bedroom house with two staff members and one van meant getting home from everybody’s appointments and grocery shopping and stuff at 8 p.m. Nobody was allowed to be in their rooms until bedtime, so no homework got done until 10 p.m. under my sheets with a flashlight. She was 4 years old. Four months later were placed in their father’s care. So when I cried, I had to do it in the living room in front of everyone. My parents were desperately trying to get custody and I was told to lie by both my parents, their relatives, my own sisters, my foster parents, and most of my case workers but I wanted out badly. Will it matter in 10 days? Instead, I had to do all the housework for the parents and their three bratty kids. They are the ones that have to deal with the kids far more hours, are the ones that have to tell them no and that they can take their anger and frustration out on. My whole childhood I remember just begging for meal vouchers (good for 5$ at McDonald’s or subway) or a warm bed to sleep in for just a night and being ignored. Foster care is arguably one of the most broken systems in our country. We have a lock on our bedroom door. My husband and I tried everything to have children of our own, but nothing worked so we decided to adopt when we were in our mid-thirties. She told me I would always be family and she would keep fighting to adopt me. AVOID INBOX FOMO. The daughters also called us slaves “jokingly”. My dad and his wife are actually nice people and sometimes my little bro would have these sorts of suspicious looks, like ‘what’s the catch?’. No, that other child did not turn out okay. They told me she left, they couldn’t stop her, they couldn’t leave to find her all they could do was ring the police. My bus arrived too late to get school breakfast. He told me to pack everything up. Another family knew my sister and I were lactose intolerant and purposefully made us drink glasses of milk. The views and opinions expressed in the Real Stories are report. We were happy again. Despite dozens of specialists, caseworkers, and doctors testifying that my biological mom was a danger to me, the state of New York refused to give my aunt full custody. I don’t want to go into detail, but it was awful. The mother didn’t let the “foster kids” into our room until it was bedtime. Most of us bonded in there, our connection was founded on mutual pain and different issues we had because of our childhoods. The food was locked up and we were not allowed to access it freely. Like, ‘it’s time to pack my bags again’ (and then when he figured out, he was staying he was of course back to the ‘what’s the catch?’ face). Finally, something I have experience with. Girl X. She was a weirdo, but lots of fun to hang out with. Each youth below experienced foster care and shared their #fosteryouthvoice in order to inspire, advocate, connect to other foster youth and to show that their voice can make a difference. Terms of Service, That’s only one of so many stories I have. He had a lot of strange food things for a while – like finding it weird that all the kids in the house would just help themselves to food if they were hungry – even fruit, like ‘woah you’re just going to eat that apple?’. He now lives with a foster … He told me I would be much happier in a white family than with a black family. I moved in with this couple freshmen year of high school, I actually ended up staying the whole way through. We are going to be a foster/adoptive home (and possibly straight adoption depending on when we get licensed/ages) looking for school age kids, ages 5-8 most likely, since our daughter will be 8 by time we are done with everything), and I was scared too. I am strong and fiercely independent. I no longer live there, but my parents still do. Girl X was only three months old when she first came to the attention of Family and Community Services in 2001. A Guardian Ad Litem said in the court that I didn’t want to go home with my mom (I was around 17 years old) after I had just told her in the chambers that I wanted to be with my mom. My first foster home when I was six years old was filled with church nuts. She spat on the two leftover cupcakes and then threw them away. Most are normal kids. A private island in the San Jauns called Secret Harbor Boys’ School. It is so encouraging to hear about your journey as we watch out kiddos struggle with sorting through blame, shame, and all the other emotions that go along with their early experiences. We moved back to bio dad’s when I was 12. Everything of mine was stolen. The first night, a while after I finally fell asleep, I woke up and had to pee. Get daily updates, kick-ass content, and curated recommendations. Most certainly all foster kids are not bad. This gripping tale by prolific horror novelist, Holly Riordan, will keep you on the edge of your seat! I lived with her and her three children until midway through kindergarten. My three siblings and I were finally liberated. This girl, who didn’t know better, dragged me about 14 feet and none of her older siblings or my foster mom did anything about it. Heard some horror stories. I was in three different foster homes in 1.5 years. Then we learned about the realities of adoption. The first time I went into foster care I was seven years old. No foster Kids are not bad, Yes they do have issues, because of what they went through in their past. Users of Adoption.com agree to the I was too scared to go to the bathroom, so I tried to pee out the window. I know of more horrible foster parents than horrible foster kids. my son will pull back, we will get into some big fight, he will get angry, I will be overcome with my own emotions, etc., etc.) Today, a year later, you wouldn't know. She was into anime and came to school cosplaying every once in a while. Many of these children have been silenced about the traumas they’ve suffered at the hands of neglectful caseworkers and horrible foster parents. I adopted a little boy that had just turned 5. I was a part of the foster care system in South Korea, and the foster home I lived in was great. Right now, I’m slowly repairing the damage that was done by just my parents but there is so much more I’m struggling with. These older children in the foster care system are there for a reason. I really do. Of course, the great state of Kansas put us in different homes. One day I got in a fight with my sister and my parents called the police on me. One night I woke around 2 in the morning feeling like something was off. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. but what the previous OP said: you go into foster care looking to make the world a better place for your foster kids. Getting smacked so hard that I literally pooped my pants out of fear, all because I forgot to chew my food with my mouth shut. I only chose to stay because if I left for another foster house, I wouldn’t be able to go to the same school, and while they were few, I made some really good friends I wasn’t willing to give up. From hitting me to calling me names; all that fun stuff. Our DCFS foster care worker changed three times and all three women were professional, courteous and conscientious. We thought we were getting kittens, lol. Foster kids are no worse than foster parents. Growing Up in the Foster Care System: Kristina’s Story Posted on June 17, 2015 by Plummer Youth Promise. Unfortunately, the rest of Korea was not as kind. When I was in foster care both me and my little sister were beat up by other foster kids and biological children to the multiple foster parents we stayed under. I have an ex girlfriend (lets call her rosy) around 2008 (both 14 at time) who both her and her infant sister were in foster care. The foster parents were terrible. I was in foster care for around 9 months in 2010 through 2011, but my parents deny me being in it or there being any circumstances that would require foster care. I wouldn't want him as a foster child and I cannot imagine anyone who would. We left and went to all our known hangout spots, after an hour or two we found her, still in rough condition with some lads. It was so red and inflamed that I had to sneak medicine when they were gone or asleep because I was never taken to a doctor. However, when I started in school my then teacher took me in. Thanks so much for sharing your story!! I was kept in a tiny closet with a bare cot, no light, and given a PB&J sandwich once a day. She’d had hundreds of kids go through there so I wasn’t anything special or different, just another kid to her. I didn’t get enough food because people would take it. About 30 of the worst kids in the NATION surviving in a youth version of Alcatraz. After a horribly neglectful and abusive childhood, they taught us what it was like to be loved, respected and gave us morals. While I was stuck there, I saw all sorts of stuff. That said, learn more! Those burns that ran through my back stayed there for years. We went to an informational meeting to learn more and the way it was presented, it almost sounded like foster children are a nightmare to be around. None of my previous families were religious, so this really freaked me out. If I was in trouble, I had to write my apologies to God hundreds of times. I instantly knew Eve was in harm, so I ran to the staff that worked there to see if she was ok. They outed me as the culprit for literally no reason and made me blow up an ENTIRE pool, with a hole in it, using just my mouth for literally 4 or 5 hours in the middle of the 100-degree summer. He stuck his finger in the kid’s gift bag, looked in, and inquired about what they got. I feel that’s important to note. The woman wasn’t always too nice to me though. 1) To watch TV, I had to sit on the dining room floor and couldn’t sit with the family over in the living room and if I crossed the line from the linoleum to the carpet, I’d be locked in my room without dinner. They frequently reminded me that the dogs were better than me, and to this day, the stuff that’s happened to me haunts me at night. After getting some perspective, you’ll notice how very few things end up worth stressing over. Many have ADHD, some have PTSD and/or associated issues like bedwetting/enuresis, and the like, but honestly they are almost all wonderful kids. I cried myself to sleep. The third and final foster care was the best one out there. The dad didn’t really care for me, and I couldn’t believe that I would never see my parents again. I have a little brother who was a foster kid. Thankfully, these children survived the awful scenarios they were put in and were brave enough to speak up about the some of the things that have stuck with them to this day. The rest have been just normal kids. I remember crying almost every day and being in trouble for it. She told me that when I was done being a baby, we could talk like adults. Girls would constantly steal anything nice I got. This included shower stuff and soaps. I begged her to leave and go to the hospital. It depends on what kids you are dealing with, and as everyone has said, when dealing with traumatized kids, you have to expect behavior problems. Take your training classes. With foster kids you just know the cause of the issues is likely trauma related. I put my head down and cried. One of the other kids held my brother’s hand against a burner when it was on. I was fostered from the ages of 3-12 by the most amazing couple. . When you get married, you're technically marrying your spouse's family, too, and there's no guarantee you're in for a happily ever after with your new mother-in-law.She may be eccentric, meddlesome, or even a monster.. If you have considered foster care/adoption because of what the kids can do for you, make you a mom, complete your family, strengthen your marriage, give you happiness, etc., etc., etc. I only ever got half my work done and I started getting into trouble for falling asleep in class. She also used to put me into ice-cold showers whenever I acted up or cried. This thread is archived. These stories are supposed to help you decide if adoption is the right fit for you and your family. The first time I saw Eve she didn’t speak but had that telltale haunted look most of the girls had. When I was about six or seven, I shared a room with a baby. She never spoke about it again or even checked in to see if I had gotten access to food. I saw many “firsts” here. The foster care system isn't made to create well adjusted happy children. SHARE. For example, they made my sister and me sit on the grass and watch their bratty kids jump on the new trampoline they bought (I assume with the money they got from us). A lot of us lead nomadic lifestyles because we’ve become so used to the constant shuffling. Serious Replies Only. When you were a kid, I bet the deep end of the pool scared the tar outta you, but then you learned to swim. Wouldn't you think you knew better how to survive your situation than these adults? Now in my 30s, I’ve made a handful of awesome friends that are a huge help, but it took me a while to learn how to have a healthy relationship. One of my teacher friends was taking some of the kids home that evening and one foster dad was standing at the front gate waiting. That was an adventure I would like to forget. For information on adoption from the foster care system, visit the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Y, who was 3 in February 2019, was entrusted to his biological father. Then, I would be allowed to sleep. Getting taken away, rightfully so, from abusive parents only to end up as a means of income for other abusive adults is hard. I was so young, but some memories will never leave. About three weeks before the school year ended, she disappeared. I will say it’s made me who I am today. I got in my social worker’s car and he drove me to my paternal grandparents’ home. I stayed in that home for years, there were many nights that I just felt so lonely; I’d cry myself to sleep. . One of the most harrowing stories of foster care abuse is the story of Girl X. We get a knock on the door and it was my dad and his new girlfriend there to pick us up for good! Some of their stories are almost unbelievably cruel, but they aren’t fictional. Denied education and used for manual labor. Have you ever been in the system? She ate one, then looked me in the eye and said she was too full to eat the others. The most horrific part of this story is that the women who took care of these children knew about this, yet they did absolutely nothing to stop them. I’m happy I was able to get out. I was there for 6 years, I still love her and her husband as were they my own parents and see them as my family. They have had months or years of being neglected and abused (even a newborn inutero), have been ripped from their families and homes, often have had multiple people fail to provide safety and stability for them, the SYSTEM often fails to provide safety and stability for them. They have learned not to trust. Nothing like being yanked from your awful life and suddenly your siblings are no longer there. then your instinct to run away is a good one. They all were so nice to us, we didn’t stay there long. They looked after myself and my 2 sisters like we were their own. I remember she also didn’t speak English well but told me she was my mom after two days of knowing her. Due to the lack of available foster homes and jails for kids, some genius decided it would be a great idea to house criminal children and foster children together because they’re all problem kids, right? One time, in particular, I was 14 or 15, I asked if I could get a nose piercing and she replied, “If you get a nose piercing, we’ll send you back.”. She’s 16 by the way. There were only a few other kids there, one whom I actually knew from school so that was kind of nice. It does not place children for adoption or match birth parents and adoptive parents. I was only in foster care temporarily when I was three (I’m 17 now). Abuse and negligence was an everyday occurrence, and I had no idea that abuse wasn’t normal. It turns out, child protection services was even worse for her, she was harassed semi-regularly by other kids. All my clothes except what I was currently wearing at any given time were locked in the house. Marian adopted 3 children from foster care in the UK. Now the home had a lockdown from 10 pm to 6 am. Learn more about what it is like to be in foster care from these real stories. It also sounded like there were more negatives than positives. Mia Storm entered foster care in 1988, when Woods gave her up to the state, along with her older brother. These kids have been through enough. The lady I moved in with got mad at me and threw me off her lap and onto the floor. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You got in by either being taken into foster care and placed there, or you broke the law so many times that a Florida judge made you a resident at Arnette for rehabilitation. There is often a set of fancy, clean clothes that are never to be touched unless a social worker visits. One night, I think my first or second night being there, she woke me up at 1 a.m. to scream at me and accuse me of using her toothbrush. The foster mom was mean and called me stupid a lot. We were physically abused and starved half-to-death. She used to force us to do things we didn’t want to and tell us “If you don’t, I’ll have my grandpa shoot you”, at that age, you tend to believe anything is possible. I was a pawn for the mother who was netting money to a side piece. I had to sit there and watch him open them and express his happiness. I lived with them for the rest of my childhood, but I spent every Sunday at Momma’s. The second youngest of four children born to an alcoholic drug addict (who passed away in 2008) and absent father in Runnemeade, New Jersey, Pearson was placed in foster care … My experience isn’t as bad as some peoples’, but I’m glad it wasn’t any longer than it was. Foster care is arguably one of the most broken systems in our country. I was baptized against my will, and had a nursery rhyme book that was censored (the book described an old woman in a shoe who “whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed”, but “whipped” was crossed out and replaced with “kissed”). I have an awesome best friend whose mom begs me to come for holidays, but I usually choose to work because it just feels weird. The "bad" foster kid was not a bad kid, he just was not a good fit for our family. I think times may have changed since then (it’s been over a decade), but it deterred me from coming back to Korea to visit until recently. There was a lot of fist fighting. The rest of us were telling him “dude, they’re keeping you”. No one is saying that a push for “foster care … We couldn’t bond or find comfort in each other because they were always driving wedges between us. ... You’ll Love These 6 Self-Care Ideas If Bubble Baths Really Aren’t Your Thing. When stressing over something, use the 10-10-10 rule. I ended up jumping in between them and throwing my arms out in a T-shaped pose until staff eventually pulled the criminal girl away. The foster-care system ultimately wants to place children with relatives, and since our aunt was now older and in a better position to take care of us, that’s what happened. We thought surely there were millions of babies out there in need of two loving people desperate to be parents. The piece below, by 21 year old Kristina, is a perfect example. share. My bedroom was in a barn outside the house, despite the fact that there were two spare rooms in the house. It seriously messed me up in the head and gave me anxiety. That same house had six to seven kids in it. My aunt took me in and wanted to adopt me (she’s amazing). ... it sounds like you'd have have some interesting stories from growing up. I can’t even remember why; I just remember being terrified of that crazy lady. Despite getting the courage and reporting it to social workers, I was never believed. One time I threw up and I got thrown into a room for a full day and wasn’t allowed out. It was a woman who took in kids who needed to go somewhere on short notice. I hadn't heard all the "horror" stories that i hear now about adopting older kids before i adopted him. I woke up to my 300-pound foster brother sitting on top of me and choking me half to death. Now I’m 19 and struggling hard with depression. Instantly concerned, I ran into her room and what greeted me is what I’d imagine a murder scene would look like. Z, the infant, was placed in foster care. I always encourage people to go through the classes and take a really easy first placement. The barn was cleaned out days after we moved in (we were sleeping on couches in the lounge in the meantime). However, some have been able to find the courage to open up about the worst of what they endured. Former and past foster care children share the hard truth about being in the system. I was eventually convinced that going against my parents is the worst thing a child can do, so I lied for them. Kids of reddit who were a part of the foster care system, what are some of your horror stories? Staff members were either great or horrible, never in between. That was the worst feeling ever. Hell, I’m 49, that stuff is not going away….ever. The biological family called us “the foster kids”. I was shocked. I couldn’t defend myself from that incident despite being older because if I even touched my foster parents’ “little princess” I’d be refused food and sleep. My brother and I were put into Foster Care when we were 3 after my mom tried to hurt herself. Like, nobody knew where she went. I’m deaf in that ear as a result of it. I remember sharing a bed with the 60-year-old woman on holiday at a beach somewhere when she had an attack of conscience, suddenly believing she had angered God. At 15 I was kicked out of his house (his wife fostered us too, but the money dried up) I then went into a girl’s home. One afternoon, when we got off the bus and were going inside to change into play clothing, I saw my social worker at the kitchen table. The pp indicated, many children come into care traumatized all my except... 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